Ask me anything
I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse.
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo.
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy.
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.”
Abstracted floral with @afends @peachlings 🌿🍃🌵🌿
Anonymous said: please describe what it is like to live in the us??
every morning my alarm gun wakes me up by firing directly over my head and if i dont immediately get up and sing the star spangled banner i get arrested. all matters in court are settled with opponents dressing up in bald eagle costumes and fighting to the death. theres an american flag tattooed across my face. once i saw someone get punched in the head repeatedly at a barbeque because they said they didnt like apple pie and nobody helped them. nobody even tried
YouTube comments aren’t “just the Internet.” They’re not the product of a group of otherwise nice guys who suddenly become evil when they wear a veil of anonymity. YouTube comments are actually a nightmarish glimpse into the sexist attitudes that define the fabric of our own existence in the “real world,” a world that, like YouTube, is owned and dominated by men. The most terrifying gift that the Internet has given us is that it’s shown us how men honestly perceive the world: as a place where women exist exclusively for their sexual pleasure.
In the wake of VidCon, and as more and more women start speaking up about the harassment they face online, it’s time to start realizing that our narrative of progress is deeply flawed. Things aren’t getting better for women on the Internet; they’re deteriorating and ignoring the problem amounts to being complicit in it.”
"For women on the Internet, it doesn’t get better" by Samantha Allen (via femfreq)
If there are any psychology / sociology grad students looking for research projects, I bet it would be very easy to find a bunch of internet douchebags who would gladly spew their effed up world views onto your carefully designed surveys.
I would really like to know more about these people…whether they’re “otherwise nice guys” IRL, or whether they have no friends because everyone has figured out how much they suck, or whether they have a social group where it’s acceptable to be, like, a terrible person.
That would be simple and useful research to do, and also probably pretty easy to get published.
I personally often find myself assuming very specific things about people who leave these kinds of comments, but up to this point I’ve never seen anyone do any actual research on what sorts of people they are. My assumptions could be entirely incorrect…and, indeed, probably are (since, in my experience, an individuals assumptions about sociological phenomena have a very low chance of matching with the complicated reality of culture.)
If anyone does this…put me in the acknowledgements!
“ Yes, poor little old you. There we were, discussing rape, violence against women, systemic oppression and other manifestations of sexism, and you had to jump in to remind us that “not all men” do these things. Why don’t you really say what you want to say? “I HAVE NEVER RAPED/HIT/ASSAULTED A WOMAN!” Right? Isn’t this what you really want to say? Yes, make a discussion that is about the plight of MILLIONS of women about poor little old you. I mean, millions of women are being assaulted and oppressed, but you’ve never done it, so why are we making you uncomfortable with these discussions? ”
“ The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl. ”
YOU MIGHT GET MARRIED ONE DAY AND GET TO LIVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND AND DECORATE YOUR HOME WITH THEM AND DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER LIKE WATCH LATE NIGHT INFORMERCIALS JUST BECAUSE AND SEE THEIR SLEEPY FACE WHEN THEY WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE AND BE REALLY WEIRD WITH THEM AND THEY’LL STILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT AND IF THE POSSIBILITY OF ALL OF THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE IDK WHAT WILL